Things We Wish Jesus Never Said | Week 1 | Pastor Ben Pierce
Things We Wish Jesus Never Said: Understanding the Consequences of Complaining
In today’s world, where opinions are voiced loudly and often carelessly, understanding what Jesus truly said about our words and attitudes is more important than ever. As Pastor Ben Pierce from Generation Church in Jupiter, Florida, reminds us, Jesus had a zero-tolerance policy for idle, vain, and hurtful words, especially complaining, gossip, and backbiting. This article dives deep into the heart of Jesus’ teaching on this topic, exploring the consequences of complaining and how it affects our lives, bodies, relationships, and spiritual walk.
The Heart of the Matter: Jesus’ Warning on Our Words
Jesus’ words in Matthew 12:33-37 are both powerful and sobering:
“A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad. You brood of snakes, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”
These verses reveal that our words reflect what’s inside our hearts, and Jesus is clear: we will be held accountable for every idle or careless word we speak. Complaining, gossiping, and slandering are not just harmless venting; they are serious offenses in God’s eyes. Pastor Ben emphasises that Jesus’ stance is a zero-tolerance policy for empty, vain, and hurtful communication. Whether it’s a juicy piece of gossip shared at the water cooler or a conspiracy theory spread on social media, these words have weight and consequences.
Why Are Our Words So Powerful?
James, the brother of Jesus, offers insight into why controlling our tongue is so challenging in James 3:6:
“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
Our tongues, controlled by our carnal minds, can unleash devastating destruction. Pastor Ben poignantly remarks that our tongues are literally “set on fire by hell,” highlighting the spiritual battle that happens with every word we speak.
Setting the Culture: Why We Must Address Complaining
As a pastor and shepherd, Ben challenges us to roll up our sleeves and do some heart work. Whether you serve as a leader, coach, or team member in any community, setting and cultivating a healthy culture is vital. The culture of complaining and gossip is not only unproductive but also destructive. Referencing 2 Timothy 3:16, the Apostle Paul reminds us that Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching truth, correcting wrong, and training us in righteousness. This correction is not rejection; it is protection and direction, a pathway to a better way of living.
The Title: The Consequence of Complaining
Pastor Ben’s message carries a clear title: The Consequence of Complaining. This is not just about discouraging negativity; it’s about understanding the real, far-reaching effects that complaining has on our lives and those around us.
The Rise of Complaining Culture and Its Dangers
In recent years, especially with the rise of social media, complaining and gossip have reached a fever pitch. Social media provides “digital courage,” allowing many to say things online they would never say face-to-face. This has created a toxic environment not only in society but within churches, workplaces, families, and communities. Pastor Ben shares a humorous yet serious observation about how petty grievances like complaints about flies in guacamole can spark online outrage and division. This problem extends beyond social media, infiltrating water cooler talk, family gatherings, and even church conversations. He even calls out the universal struggle many face with their Homeowners Associations (HOAs), humorously asking for prayers for all HOAs worldwide. This highlights how complaining is a widespread issue affecting every part of our lives.
The Four Major Consequences of Complaining
1. Your Complaining Will Be Judged
Jesus warns that every idle word will be accounted for on Judgment Day. This is a sobering thought. It means that even casual complaints and seemingly harmless gossip have eternal consequences. Pastor Ben asks us to take a personal inventory of our words, reminding us that Jesus’ zero-tolerance policy extends throughout Scripture. He calls complaining childish and unprofitable, highlighting that even if what we say is true, spreading it sinfully is harmful. He shares a poignant example from his ministry experience: a large church with a flourishing Christian school had to shut it down because gossip and negativity spread so widely that it destroyed the community’s unity. This story illustrates how quickly complaining can escalate and cause irreparable damage.
2. Complaining Unleashes Every Evil Practice
James 3:13-16 explains that bitter envy and selfish ambition expressed through boastful and boastful talk do not come from God but are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. Where envy and selfish ambition exist, disorder and every evil practice follow. Pastor Ben warns that gossip and complaining open the door for the devil to enter our lives. These sinful conversations unleash disorder in our personal lives, workplaces, families, and communities. He points out that many people complain about it once every minute, which means most of us frequently open the door to negative spiritual consequences. Instead of blaming external forces, we must recognize that often we are the ones attacking ourselves through our words.
3. Complaining Literally Poisons Your Body
James 3:7-8 states that while animals can be tamed, no human can tame their tongue, it is “a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” This poison is not just spiritual but physical. Medical science supports this by showing that frequent complaining raises levels of cortisol, a stress hormone. While cortisol and endorphins can feel good in short bursts, chronic elevation is corrosive to the body. It weakens the immune system, slows healing, raises cholesterol, and even contributes to weight gain. Pastor Ben humorously declares, “If you gossip, you’re going to get fat,” underscoring the seriousness of how negative words impact our physical health. Additionally, the hippocampus, the brain area responsible for problem-solving and memory, is damaged by prolonged high cortisol levels. This is the same area affected by Alzheimer’s disease. Constant complaining can literally destroy brain tissue and hinder mental function. Neuroplasticity shows that our brains form pathways based on what we consistently think and say. If we train ourselves to be negative and complain, we physically create a brain wired for negativity. This means negativity is a habit, not a God-given trait.
4. Complaining Spreads Like Cancer
Complaining and gossip are contagious. Neuronal mirroring tells us that hearing others complain causes our neurons to fire in similar patterns, reinforcing negative habits. Pastor Ben reminds us that our children, coworkers, and church family notice our conversations. Gossip is never anonymous, and the “grapevine” is alive and well in every community. Paul addresses this in 1 Corinthians 5:6, comparing sin to yeast that spreads through dough. The sin Paul refers to is not just the initial wrongdoing but the gossip and boasting about it that infects the whole community. Jesus also warns about three types of “leaven” in the kingdom of God:
- The leaven of the Pharisees: hypocrisy
- The leaven of Herod: elevating government above God
- The leaven of sin: personal sin and tolerance of others’ sin
All these leavens spread like infections, multiplying rapidly; one yeast cell can become over 65,000 in just 24 hours! This is why gossip and complaining are so dangerous; they multiply, infect, and destroy relationships and communities.
The Biblical Solution: Removing the Old Yeast
Paul instructs believers to “get rid of the old yeast” by removing wicked influences from among them (1 Corinthians 5:7). Pastor Ben takes this seriously, encouraging us to “swipe left, cut loose, delete” toxic relationships that poison us. Once the old yeast is removed, we become “like a fresh batch of dough made without yeast,” representing sincerity and truth. Christ, our Passover Lamb, has been sacrificed for us, and we are called to celebrate with new life free from the corruption of sin and gossip. Pastor Ben’s powerful reminder is that negative words are not the cu;e, they are the sickness. Sharing negativity does not fix problems; it spreads them.
Learning from Israel’s Wilderness Journey
Paul gives us an example in 1 Corinthians 10 by referencing the Israelites’ 40 years of wandering in the wilderness, a time marked by constant complaining. The Israelites grumbled against Moses and God repeatedly, even questioning whether God had brought them out to die. Their complaints led to severe consequences: disease, death, and lost blessings. Pastor Ben highlights that Moses represents Christ and a pastor’s role as a shepherd. Despite Moses’ faithful leadership, the people’s complaining caused chaos and destruction. Psalm 106 outlines this story succinctly:
- The Israelites rebelled at the Red Sea, complaining to Moses.
- They craved meat and complained, leading God to send quail, which caused many to choke and die.
- They made a golden calf while Moses was receiving the Ten Commandments.
These examples show the danger of complaining and how it can rob us of God’s promises and blessings.
Final Thoughts: Embracing a Life Free from Complaining
Jesus’ words challenge us to examine our hearts and tongues. Complaining, gossip, and backbiting are not just social nuisances; they are spiritual and physical dangers that have eternal consequences. By understanding the consequences of complaining, we can choose to foster a culture of sincerity, truth, and encouragement in our families, churches, workplaces, and communities. Let us heed the wisdom of Scripture and the heartfelt teaching of Pastor Ben Pierce to:
- Recognize that every word matters and will be judged.
- Understand that complaining unleashes evil and disorder.
- Protect our physical and mental health by controlling our tongues.
- Stop the spread of negativity by removing toxic influences and refusing to participate in gossip.
- Learn from biblical examples to avoid the pitfalls of grumbling and discontent.
May we be people who build up rather than tear down, who speak life rather than poison, and who reflect the love and truth of Christ in every word. Remember, the best is yet to come when we align our hearts and words with God’s purpose.